Memory
A couple years ago, when I was newly single, Emily and I spent a lot of time together. Once we went to a Buddhist café in Hamtramck and swooned over a monk working there, wondering for the rest of the afternoon what sex with a monk might be like or if they have sex at all, feeling pretty ignorant knowing we weren't sure. We talked about this the entire way home.
My (joke) profile on okcupid just got a message from the monk.
My (joke) profile on okcupid just got a message from the monk.
Biography
The type of person for which "Tries New Things" means buying the strawberry-flavored Oreos.
Bible
METAPHORICALLY SPEAKING, SCHOOLS WERE TO BECOME EFFECTIVE AND EFFICIENT MANUFACTURING PLANTS. INDEED, THE LANGUAGE OF MANUFACTURE WAS A PART OF THE ACTIVE VOCABULARY... IN THEIR VISION OF EDUCATION STUDENTS WERE RAW MATERIAL TO BE PROCESSED ACCORDING TO SPECIFICATIONS PRESCRIBED BY SUPERVISORS...
WE WOULD LIKE NOTHING MORE THAN TO GET TEACHING DOWN TO A SCIENCE EVEN THOUGH THE CONCEPTION OF SCIENCE BEING EMPLOYED HAS LITTLE TO DO WITH WHAT SCIENCE IS ABOUT... WE FLIRT WITH PAYMENT BY RESULTS, WE PAY PRACTICALLY NO ATTENTION TO THE IDEA THAT ENGAGEMENT IN SCHOOL CAN AND SHOULD PROVIDE INTRINSIC SATISFACTIONS, AND WE EXACERBATE THE IMPORTANCE OF EXTRINSIC REWARDS BY CREATING POLICIES THAT ENCOURAGE CHILDREN TO BECOME POINT COLLECTORS. ACHIEVEMENT HAS TRIUMPHED OVER INQUIRY.
READ THE REST
see also The Mechanical Bride, "Education": For to develop individuals with powerful minds and independent characters is to create a supply for which there is no demand. Why train men if there is only a market for robots?... Why train individuals, if the only available life is the collective dream of uniform tasks and mass entertainment? Why make life difficult? Why be different? Why use your brains to ensure poverty?
WE WOULD LIKE NOTHING MORE THAN TO GET TEACHING DOWN TO A SCIENCE EVEN THOUGH THE CONCEPTION OF SCIENCE BEING EMPLOYED HAS LITTLE TO DO WITH WHAT SCIENCE IS ABOUT... WE FLIRT WITH PAYMENT BY RESULTS, WE PAY PRACTICALLY NO ATTENTION TO THE IDEA THAT ENGAGEMENT IN SCHOOL CAN AND SHOULD PROVIDE INTRINSIC SATISFACTIONS, AND WE EXACERBATE THE IMPORTANCE OF EXTRINSIC REWARDS BY CREATING POLICIES THAT ENCOURAGE CHILDREN TO BECOME POINT COLLECTORS. ACHIEVEMENT HAS TRIUMPHED OVER INQUIRY.
READ THE REST
see also The Mechanical Bride, "Education": For to develop individuals with powerful minds and independent characters is to create a supply for which there is no demand. Why train men if there is only a market for robots?... Why train individuals, if the only available life is the collective dream of uniform tasks and mass entertainment? Why make life difficult? Why be different? Why use your brains to ensure poverty?
Ego
IT IS NOT THE SEARCH FOR PLEASURE THAT BRINGS ONE [YOU] TO SEX, IT IS THE SEARCH FOR TRANSCENDENCE. THE ORGASM OFFERS ONE OF THE FEW EXPERIENCES OF EGO DEATH AND SELF-TRANSCENDENCE THAT IS ACCESSIBLE TO THE ORDINARY HUMAN BEING... THIS IS ALSO ONE OF THE FEW SUCH EXPERIENCES IN WHICH EGO DEATH AND SUPREME EGO GRATIFICATION ARE EXPERIENCED AT THE SAME TIME. YOU DO NOT FEEL THE NEED TO SEPARATE THE TWO AS MUCH AS OTHERS.
Hand
TOTALLY APART FROM WHETHER ANY REAL INFLUENCES COME FROM THE PLANETS, AN INDIVIDUAL CAN GAIN SIMPLY BY FOCUSING ON ASTROLOGICAL SYMBOLS. JUST AS BY MAKING UP STORIES SUGGESTED BY INKBLOTS ONE CAN REVEAL TO ONESELF ASPECTS OF LIFE THAT ARE NOT OTHERWISE APPARENT, ONE CAN ALSO GAIN INSIGHT BY STUDYING ONE'S HOROSCOPE. THERE IS EVIDENCE THAT THERE IS CONSIDERABLY MORE GOING ON WITH ASTROLOGY THAN WITH AN INKBLOT TEST, BUT THERE MAY BE CERTAIN PARTS OF ASTROLOGY THAT FUNCTION ENTIRELY IN SUCH A WAY...
[HOWEVER,] GENUINELY ENLIGHTENED TEACHERS ARE INDEED BETTER SOURCES OF GUIDANCE THAN MOST ASTROLOGERS.
[HOWEVER,] GENUINELY ENLIGHTENED TEACHERS ARE INDEED BETTER SOURCES OF GUIDANCE THAN MOST ASTROLOGERS.
Easter
When my dad calls to tell me that someone died, I almost never answer. He leaves a message asking me to call back but doesn't wonder how I'm doing.
The mother's day call is the same. It's always about nothing and he doesn't make jokes, doesn't laugh at mine. Last weekend I told him about Copenhagen, how all Danes dress and look the same. He said it's because aliens probably live there.
On the phone, I wait for him to say it. Then just as we're saying goodbye, Oh, by the way. I wanted to tell you.
The mother's day call is the same. It's always about nothing and he doesn't make jokes, doesn't laugh at mine. Last weekend I told him about Copenhagen, how all Danes dress and look the same. He said it's because aliens probably live there.
On the phone, I wait for him to say it. Then just as we're saying goodbye, Oh, by the way. I wanted to tell you.
Jewelry
My mother claims my father didn't propose. Let's get married, he said, then they did.
Over the weekend, I saw a jewelry store advertisement where a man and woman are in a shared space at home, both using their cell phones - but not talking on them. Something appears on the screen of the woman's phone, so she holds it up to the man to verify, to ask what it is. He holds his phone up to hers to complete a cell phone screen puzzle that asks for her hand in marriage. Another, on the kitchen table today, had a triple-band ring and three fingerprints - in gold, silver, and bronze dust - with the text LOVE. FRIENDSHIP. FIDELITY.
Over the weekend, I saw a jewelry store advertisement where a man and woman are in a shared space at home, both using their cell phones - but not talking on them. Something appears on the screen of the woman's phone, so she holds it up to the man to verify, to ask what it is. He holds his phone up to hers to complete a cell phone screen puzzle that asks for her hand in marriage. Another, on the kitchen table today, had a triple-band ring and three fingerprints - in gold, silver, and bronze dust - with the text LOVE. FRIENDSHIP. FIDELITY.
Chat
so maurice died tuesday night and then i drove my truck through a fence twice after a kiss concert,
how was your week
how was your week
Road
Last night I heard this poem or song or something. A violation, a disembodied emotion like a demon slurring in your ear, coming from nowhere, the moment you recollect a feeling and nearly choke, which you have hard time explaining to your roommate walking in with a Target bag.
Time
I spoke to Ashley on the phone. She told me about a boy at work, "chiseled jaw, perfect teeth," who lives in Eastern Market but sings in a band called Shamrock. He follows her outside on breaks but doesn't smoke. Last I heard, after sticking a paper cone cup on her head, he said, "That's cute as hell. I want to fuck you," then grabbed her elbow, grinned, and walked off.
Houellebecq
IT'S TRUE I HAVE THE IMPRESSION OF BEING CAUGHT UP IN A NETWORK OF COMPLICATED, MINUTE, AND STUPID RULES. AND I HAVE THE IMPRESSION OF BEING HERDED TOWARDS A UNIFORM KIND OF HAPPINESS, TOWARDS A KIND OF HAPPINESS WHICH DOESN'T REALLY MAKE ME HAPPY. I FEEL ALL THAT.
Getaway
My hairdresser told me about women he works with in the salon he moonlights at in a mall somewhere. Four carats, doing hair just to show off. Don't worry, you'll get there. For now, I want you to get your heart broken and write all that raw shit. Like, 'Wine glass empty, listening to jodeci.'
Development
I woke up with a thin bump on the back of my head from making out in a pick-up truck - head against the window rolled half-way down - in an abandoned lot. I sat on a porch, in the sun, injured by an event leading up to sex in a hospice bed.
My ex-boyfriend asks me to draw a tasteful nude to send to his wanna-be beau. That, or rabbits fucking in a quicksand pit.
My ex-boyfriend asks me to draw a tasteful nude to send to his wanna-be beau. That, or rabbits fucking in a quicksand pit.
Relate
Women who can cite this situation as part of their history end up on a television talk show, okay with it, sitting next to their now liberated ex, it feels so great to finally be myself, to get manicures, talk about boys.
Paradigms
REPRODUCTION AND COMMODIFICATION ELIMINATE THE NEED FOR AESTHETIC EXPERIENCE, EVEN AS THEY ARE THE ONLY WAY FOR A WORK OF ART TO ACHIEVE IMMORTALITY IN A TECHNOLOGICAL SOCIETY OF SPECTACLES. THEY ARE THE MEANS OF TURNING WORKS OF ART INTO CELEBRATED SPECTACLES AND ARTISTS INTO MARKETABLE CELEBRITIES.
A SENSE OF FRICTIONLESS IMPUNITY MUST BE EXCITING IF YOU'RE ON THE SUPPLY SIDE OF THE ECONOMY AND THE CULTURE.
A SENSE OF FRICTIONLESS IMPUNITY MUST BE EXCITING IF YOU'RE ON THE SUPPLY SIDE OF THE ECONOMY AND THE CULTURE.
Negatives
I fucked a wide receiving end, he
told me, while holding
my ass, This broke the mold.
I stopped, turned around
to ask what he meant.
Like, when god made your ass, you know, the mold he used.
told me, while holding
my ass, This broke the mold.
I stopped, turned around
to ask what he meant.
Like, when god made your ass, you know, the mold he used.
Assessment
Poor rapport with your mother and women in past lives hinders your relationships with them in this one. You are not easy to please and you can be whimsical or hysterical. You are fearful of your own femininity, of the possibility of motherhood, of romantic failure. You must avoid psychic experiences because they will generate obsessions or fears. Secret alliances and clandestine relationships may be your undoing.
JENNIFER
CAN YOU REMEMBER WHAT INSPIRED YOU TO GET YOUR FIRST TATTOO?
Well, actually my first tattoo I [sic] to sneak and got it when I was about 17. It was supposed to say "Sweets," but instead the guy put "Sweats."
WHICH OF YOUR TATTOOS IS THE MOST MEANINGFUL AND WHY?
The Jesus piece, because I got that tattoo when i gave myself to Christ.
HAS BEING TATTOOED EVER HINDERED YOUR MODELING CAREER?
No, because it's 2011 and the majority of our teens and young adults are tatted up.
WHERE CAN OUR READERS GO TO GET THE MOST UP-TO-DATE NEWS ON YOU?
I'm addicted to Facebook, it's like my life, so check me out. But, you have to inbox me with a message, and then I will approve you because I get tons of friend requests.
Aporia
Danger makes us see more sensitively, the prospect of the gallows. You either see or you don't. I think you want to learn about art because you had an experience of some sort - a totally non-redemptive but vaguely exciting experience, like brushing up against a girl with big boobs in the subway. It's about that level of intensity.
Hickey
GOVERNMENTS ARE RISK AVERSE. THEY ENCOURAGE RISK-AVERSE PERSONALITIES TO BECOME ARTISTS. SOME GOOD ARTISTS IN THEIR MATURITY WILL TAKE A JOB AT A UNIVERSITY AND CONTINUE TO PRODUCE BECAUSE THEY HAVE TRAINED THEMSELVES TO PRODUCE. BUT THE UNIVERSITY ENVIRONMENT IS NOT A PRODUCTIVE ENVIRONMENT... IT'S NOT FREE...
IF I SELL AN ARTICLE TO VANITY FAIR, THEY GIVE ME SOME MONEY AND WE'RE QUITS. I CAN TAKE THAT MONEY AND SPEND IT ON HEROIN AND ARAB BOYS IF I WANT. BUT IF I GET THE MONEY I MAKE FROM THE UNIVERSITY EVERY YEAR, THAT COMES WITH A REQUIREMENT THAT I NOT BE A PEDOPHILE, THAT I NOT BE A DRUG ADDICT, THAT I NOT TELL THE TRUTH... THAT'S WHAT THAT MONEY IS. AND IF I TAKE A JOB AT A UNIVERSITY AND I'M A YOUNG PERSON, I HAVE SIX YEARS IN WHICH I CAN'T EXPRESS MY OPINION UNTIL I GET TENURE. NOW, ARE YOU GOING TO REMEMBER YOUR OPINIONS FOR SIX YEARS?
IF I SELL AN ARTICLE TO VANITY FAIR, THEY GIVE ME SOME MONEY AND WE'RE QUITS. I CAN TAKE THAT MONEY AND SPEND IT ON HEROIN AND ARAB BOYS IF I WANT. BUT IF I GET THE MONEY I MAKE FROM THE UNIVERSITY EVERY YEAR, THAT COMES WITH A REQUIREMENT THAT I NOT BE A PEDOPHILE, THAT I NOT BE A DRUG ADDICT, THAT I NOT TELL THE TRUTH... THAT'S WHAT THAT MONEY IS. AND IF I TAKE A JOB AT A UNIVERSITY AND I'M A YOUNG PERSON, I HAVE SIX YEARS IN WHICH I CAN'T EXPRESS MY OPINION UNTIL I GET TENURE. NOW, ARE YOU GOING TO REMEMBER YOUR OPINIONS FOR SIX YEARS?
Dream
I cried so hard, over and over, about a brother who wasn't mine while standing in a cosmetics aisle.
Deleuze
I CONSIDER THAT HAVING AN IDEA, IN ANY CASE, IS NOT ON THE ORDER OF COMMUNICATION... PRIMARILY, COMMUNICATION IS THE TRANSMISSION AND PROPAGATION OF INFORMATION. INFORMATION IS A SET OF IMPERATIVES, SLOGANS, DIRECTIONS. WHEN YOU ARE INFORMED, YOU ARE TOLD WHAT YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BELIEVE... WE ARE NOT ASKED TO BELIEVE BUT TO BEHAVE AS IF WE DID...
COUNTER-INFORMATION ONLY BECOMES REALLY EFFECTIVE WHEN IT IS -- AND IT IS BY NATURE -- OR BECOMES AN ACT OF RESISTANCE... A WORK OF ART HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH COMMUNICATION. A WORK OF ART DOES NOT CONTAIN THE LEAST BIT OF INFORMATION. IN CONTRAST, THERE IS A FUNDAMENTAL AFFINITY BETWEEN A WORK OF ART AND AN ACT OF RESISTANCE...
THE PEOPLE ARE MISSING MEANS THAT THE FUNDAMENTAL AFFINITY BETWEEN A WORK OF ART AND A PEOPLE THAT DOES NOT YET EXIST IS NOT, WILL NEVER BE CLEAR. THERE IS NO WORK OF ART THAT DOES NOT CALL ON A PEOPLE WHO DOES NOT YET EXIST.
COUNTER-INFORMATION ONLY BECOMES REALLY EFFECTIVE WHEN IT IS -- AND IT IS BY NATURE -- OR BECOMES AN ACT OF RESISTANCE... A WORK OF ART HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH COMMUNICATION. A WORK OF ART DOES NOT CONTAIN THE LEAST BIT OF INFORMATION. IN CONTRAST, THERE IS A FUNDAMENTAL AFFINITY BETWEEN A WORK OF ART AND AN ACT OF RESISTANCE...
THE PEOPLE ARE MISSING MEANS THAT THE FUNDAMENTAL AFFINITY BETWEEN A WORK OF ART AND A PEOPLE THAT DOES NOT YET EXIST IS NOT, WILL NEVER BE CLEAR. THERE IS NO WORK OF ART THAT DOES NOT CALL ON A PEOPLE WHO DOES NOT YET EXIST.
Sentiment
You told me to watch out, that his dick's been places. I'm not after his dick, I'm after his brain -- and I like a brain that's been around the block.
Personal
It is fact that I am often accused of being cold. I am physically a cold person, hands and feet like ice. My heart is the same. But today, arriving home after six - the first Monday after daylight savings begins - the sun is setting.
A dad, boy, and girl are outside. We live on the same side of the street, maybe ten houses apart. I park, cross the street, and trek through my soggy lawn. I see the girl teetering in a gravity challenge on her tiny pink bike - no training wheels - moving towards me, into the sun. She said, I'm doing it! Actually grinning, I stop to watch and she exclaims again, then laughs. Like a real moment.
A dad, boy, and girl are outside. We live on the same side of the street, maybe ten houses apart. I park, cross the street, and trek through my soggy lawn. I see the girl teetering in a gravity challenge on her tiny pink bike - no training wheels - moving towards me, into the sun. She said, I'm doing it! Actually grinning, I stop to watch and she exclaims again, then laughs. Like a real moment.
Settling
My mother always said she wished for boys. She never wanted girls, never planned for two. My gestation was especially saturated with her hopes that I would be male -- presumably to save The Marriage. When her firstborn emerged female, she bypassed Jacob. When I was born, she abandoned Joshua.
Tonight was the infrequent but regular type where I considered Joshua.
Tonight was the infrequent but regular type where I considered Joshua.
Strap
Alisyn, my co-worker, is getting sick. She knows when she's getting sick, she says, because it always begins with an earache. When she was much younger, her ear canals were fitted for tubes that prevent infection, though they sometimes require replacement.
A tube in my ear came out like a stinking macaroni noodle when I got punched in the head at a Prodigy concert.
A tube in my ear came out like a stinking macaroni noodle when I got punched in the head at a Prodigy concert.
Fashion
THE EMPTY ABSTRACT HOLE OF DESIRE... BECKONS. SLEEPWEAR. DEATHWEAR. SHROUDED IN FASHION -- THE IDEAL LOGIC OF LATE CAPITALISM.
Assessment
Your involvement with other people often focuses on the harshest side of human experience. You become aware of destructive energies around you and learn to overcome these difficulties. Your spiritual life can become the source of nearly inexhaustible energy. You face tests through death and separation.
Plot
Kate and I go to an exhibit of forged, copied, and otherwise “fake” art owned by the DIA. The fire alarms sound about ten minutes in, just after I prompt a dialogue on the irony of this exhibit happening at all. Patrons and employees move in slow, loose pirouettes. Intricate defense and disaster procedures lie outlined in thick manuals somewhere, maybe glossy handouts for visitors who ask. But no one knows what to do. Kate said, god, those alarms are enough to make anyone... I said, I wonder how it would be to die in a fire at an art museum.
Later, outside, we overhear museum staff discuss the alarms, set off by steam from a party on the first floor. I see a man point to smoke tufts creeping around the lights and we descend the nearest staircase – the humid failure visible, tactile.
Later, outside, we overhear museum staff discuss the alarms, set off by steam from a party on the first floor. I see a man point to smoke tufts creeping around the lights and we descend the nearest staircase – the humid failure visible, tactile.
Update
Among smoking weed on the way to, on my lunch at, and immediately after, I'm stealing, ignoring, and destroying important things at work.
Today, this was in the form of finally synthesizing the importance of Greg Graffin in my personal development/celebrity ("greater person") idolization. What a guy, you know? I wrote Josh a really long e-mail about it.
Today, this was in the form of finally synthesizing the importance of Greg Graffin in my personal development/celebrity ("greater person") idolization. What a guy, you know? I wrote Josh a really long e-mail about it.
Zodiac
Pavel seems to be protesting traditional food and water. I have grown some grass in a glass jar, which I set on the floor next to her food and water dishes. I keep food in her bowl, but water sparingly. She will dip in an entire paw, lift and shake it off, then use the same motion -- but with more force and inside the bowl instead of out -- to spill most or all of the water onto the floor. There are also times when she knocks it over simply by kicking around Dave's pink snap bracelet.
Christmas
I bought him a nautica wallet with a millionaire raffle ticket inside so one of us better win something!
Plan
ALTHOUGH YOU HAVE MANY FRIENDS, THEY ARE MAINLY THOSE WHO ARE WILLING TO SUBMIT TO YOU. THIS FACET OF YOUR INDIVIDUALITY AFFECTS YOUR ROMANTIC AFFAIRS. YOU DEMAND SUBSERVIENCE FROM OTHERS, BUT LOSE RESPECT FOR THEM IF THEY SUBMIT.
Mechanical
Former Perfect Lover v. Dream Soul Mate
ONE ANSWER TO [AN] AD'S QUERY: "WHAT MAKES A GAL A GOOD NUMBER?" IS SIMPLY "LOOKING LIKE A NUMBER OF OTHER GALS"; TO THE QUERY, "WHAT'S THE TRICK THAT MAKES HER CLICK?" THE ANSWER IS "BEING A REPLACEABLE PART." JUST AS SUCCESS AND PERSONALITY KNOW-HOW CONSIST OF RECIPES AND FORMULAS FOR REDUCING EVERYBODY TO THE SAME PATTERN, WE SEEM TO DEMAND, IN HARMONY WITH THIS PRINCIPLE, THAT LOVE GODDESSES BE ALL ALIKE.
The issue is never the Former versus the Dream, but the Living versus one of the two. The New Seed is always in competition with the imagination; even the Former's perfection is mistaken. Éluard said somewhere that one would never recognize his soul mate because they would not look or act like he had imagined them to -- the true soul mate is not the being he had fashioned in his fantasies.
ONE ANSWER TO [AN] AD'S QUERY: "WHAT MAKES A GAL A GOOD NUMBER?" IS SIMPLY "LOOKING LIKE A NUMBER OF OTHER GALS"; TO THE QUERY, "WHAT'S THE TRICK THAT MAKES HER CLICK?" THE ANSWER IS "BEING A REPLACEABLE PART." JUST AS SUCCESS AND PERSONALITY KNOW-HOW CONSIST OF RECIPES AND FORMULAS FOR REDUCING EVERYBODY TO THE SAME PATTERN, WE SEEM TO DEMAND, IN HARMONY WITH THIS PRINCIPLE, THAT LOVE GODDESSES BE ALL ALIKE.
The issue is never the Former versus the Dream, but the Living versus one of the two. The New Seed is always in competition with the imagination; even the Former's perfection is mistaken. Éluard said somewhere that one would never recognize his soul mate because they would not look or act like he had imagined them to -- the true soul mate is not the being he had fashioned in his fantasies.
Arendt
...INTO THE BOUNDLESSNESS OF PROGRESS WITH ITS INHERENT ADMISSION THAT THE GOOD AND THE TRUE ARE UNATTAINABLE.
Badiou
SOMEONE STARTS TALKING TO YOU ABOUT PHILOSOPHY AND YOU REPLY "HEADACHE," OR THEY TALK ABOUT PAINTING AND YOU RATTLE OFF ALL YOUR LITTLE BUMPS AND BRUISES, AND GOD FORBID THEY SHOULD TRY TO DISCUSS SERIAL MUSIC, WELL, THEN YOU START IN ON THE WHOLE SAGA OF YOUR BOUTS OF DIARRHEA AND LUMBAGO.
nofx
NON SAIS UNA CENERENTOLA/ NON ASPETTO PER UN PRINCIPE MI SALVA/ INFATTI, FINO A POCO, FA STAVO FACENDO BENE/ E ANCORA, E ANCORA...
Found
I found this in a Kenneth Patchen book at the Graduate Library at WSU. DCB interprets my sentiment. I guess I was asking for it.
IF YOU LAUGH OUT LOUD AT SHAKESPEARE JOKES, I HOPE YOU WON'T BE INSULTED IF I SAY YOU'RE TRYING TOO HARD.
Cohen
AND NOW YOU HAVE ENTERED THE MATHEMATICAL SECTION OF YOUR SOUL WHICH YOU CLAIMED YOU NEVER HAD. I SUPPOSE THAT THIS, PLUS THE BROKEN HEART, MAKES YOU BELIEVE THAT NOW YOU HAVE A PERFECT RIGHT TO GO OUT AND TAME THE SADISTS.
Personal
Already possessing the Glamour of too complete an understanding, which negates right action, I should say that a more personally defined glamour includes poeticizing things in one line. Or wanting the punchline first, because the joke is understood.
AAB
THE GLAMOUR OF SENTIMENT
LOVE, FOR MANY PEOPLE, FOR THE MAJORITY INDEED, IS NOT REALLY LOVE BUT A MIXTURE OF THE DESIRE TO LOVE AND THE DESIRE TO BE LOVED, PLUS A WILLINGNESS TO DO ANYTHING TO SHOW AND EVOKE THIS SENTIMENT, AND CONSEQUENTLY TO BE MORE COMFORTABLE IN ONE'S OWN INTERIOR LIFE.
LOVE, FOR MANY PEOPLE, FOR THE MAJORITY INDEED, IS NOT REALLY LOVE BUT A MIXTURE OF THE DESIRE TO LOVE AND THE DESIRE TO BE LOVED, PLUS A WILLINGNESS TO DO ANYTHING TO SHOW AND EVOKE THIS SENTIMENT, AND CONSEQUENTLY TO BE MORE COMFORTABLE IN ONE'S OWN INTERIOR LIFE.
Personal
The soundtrack of my childhood was Barry White's Greatest Hits, punctuated by my parents' wedding song -- Heatwave's "Always and Forever" -- as the hidden track that my mother would play when she dropped my sister and I off at home.
Ego
I have started making an effort to control my ego but it just will not stop. It's not that I have no inadequacies, it's that I listen to Al Green every night, and I think Larry David was really right about this guy.
I sit here, falling in love with myself.
I sit here, falling in love with myself.
Depressed
WE HAVE IN THE FIRST PLACE MADE AN ABSOLUTE DIVORCE OF THE CONTEMPLATIVE (art) FROM THE ACTIVE (work) LIFE, AND IN THE SECOND PLACE SUBSTITUTED FOR THE CONTEMPLATIVE (art) LIFE AN AESTHETIC LIFE, -- OR AS THE TERM IMPLIES, A LIFE OF PLEASURE.
AKC
VAGUENESS OF ANY SORT, AS BEING A PRIVATION OF DUE FORM IS NECESSARILY A DEFECT OF BEAUTY. HENCE IT IS THAT IN MEDIEVAL RHETORIC SO MUCH STRESS IS LAID ON THE COMMUNICATIVE NATURE OF ART, WHICH MUST BE EXPLICIT.
IT IS PRECISELY THIS COMMUNICATIVE CHARACTER THAT DISTINGUISHED CHRISTIAN FROM LATE CLASSICAL ART, IN WHICH STYLE IS PURSUED FOR ITS OWN SAKE, AND CONTENT VALUED ONLY AS A POINT OF DEPARTURE; AND IN THE SAME WAY, FROM THE GREATER PART OF MODERN ART, WHICH ENDEAVORS TO ELIMINATE SUBJECT (GRAVITAS).
IT IS PRECISELY THIS COMMUNICATIVE CHARACTER THAT DISTINGUISHED CHRISTIAN FROM LATE CLASSICAL ART, IN WHICH STYLE IS PURSUED FOR ITS OWN SAKE, AND CONTENT VALUED ONLY AS A POINT OF DEPARTURE; AND IN THE SAME WAY, FROM THE GREATER PART OF MODERN ART, WHICH ENDEAVORS TO ELIMINATE SUBJECT (GRAVITAS).
Rift
I met a girl the other night who used to live in my building. She is pretty, boring. She talked about all of the TV shows she and her boyfriend watch. Later, we found that she had been thinking her whole life that she'd been pissing out of her vagina.
Weekend
I had taken a weekend to go see my cousin in Chicago. Fuck that city. I met a Gigi. She spoke with a lisp & had this leotard on that had a lot of parts cut out of it. She said that she looked at clothes in Miami that weren't black, but they didn't work out. She arrived with her cousin or someone's cousin, Edgar, who had a curly mullet and, though reserved otherwise, insisted we listen to Electro.
Update
This couple I'm making a wedding cake for -- the girl describes her future in relation to an 80s movie.
She said: "Only 131 days until I marry Jake Ryan from Sixteen Candles. Plaid shirts, fair isle sweaters, red sports car and all." Next to that, she provided a link to a picture of Jake Ryan from Sixteen Candles. Her husband looks like him in this slightly bulldog underbite way -- but just so. His jaw is pulled out to the exact angle that makes him look nasty and unconvincing, but handsome still. When I had met with them, he asked me, "So, what's your favorite cake you've ever done?" and he nearly licked the appetizer plate clean. He bought my beer on his American Express.
I can't decide if I feel sorry and sad or just confused.
She said: "Only 131 days until I marry Jake Ryan from Sixteen Candles. Plaid shirts, fair isle sweaters, red sports car and all." Next to that, she provided a link to a picture of Jake Ryan from Sixteen Candles. Her husband looks like him in this slightly bulldog underbite way -- but just so. His jaw is pulled out to the exact angle that makes him look nasty and unconvincing, but handsome still. When I had met with them, he asked me, "So, what's your favorite cake you've ever done?" and he nearly licked the appetizer plate clean. He bought my beer on his American Express.
I can't decide if I feel sorry and sad or just confused.
Future
Pavel loves nature so much. Andy brought home tulips one day this week, and she's eaten two whole blooms. He said he met some lady in the laundry room at his Dad's house who's got a whole thing going on with breast implants and an Escalade. She slurs midnight HBO shit, It's so hot in here!
I've been rewarded with some kind of blessing. I said I don't know what the fuck to my boss today.
I've been rewarded with some kind of blessing. I said I don't know what the fuck to my boss today.
Kosuth
AN ARTIST'S DEPENDENCE ON THE CRITIC OR WRITER ON ART TO CULTIVATE THE CONCEPTUAL IMPLICATIONS OF HIS ART PROPOSITIONS, AND ARGUE THEIR EXPLICATION, IS EITHER INTELLECTUAL IRRESPONSIBILITY OR THE NAÏVEST KIND OF MYSTICISM.
Level
See, this is why we can't have nice things.
I've got a full set of McDonald's "Batman" glasses - except for The Riddler. The handle's broke on that one.
I've got a full set of McDonald's "Batman" glasses - except for The Riddler. The handle's broke on that one.
Hazlitt
A FRIEND ... COMES IN UNGRACIOUSLY BETWEEN US AND OUR IMAGINARY CHARACTER. ... YOU ARE NO LONGER A CITIZEN OF THE WORLD: BUT YOUR 'UNHOUSED FREE CONDITION IS PUT INTO CIRCUMSCRIPTION AND CONFINE.'
Martland
CRAFTSMEN AND MAGICIANS WORK IN A CONFIDENCE OF CONTROL THAT IS FOREIGN TO ARTISTS AND RELIGIOUS PEOPLE. CONSIDER THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE MAGICIAN WHO CASTS A SPELL AND THE RELIGIOUS PERSON WHO RECITES A PRAYER...
TO KNOW GOD IS AS NON-REAL IS TO SAY ONE HAS NO MANA, NO KNOWLEDGE WHICH ALLOWS ONE TO PARTICIPATE IN THE FUTURE.
...THE [ARTISTIC/RELIGIOUS] LACK OF ASSURANCE ARISES FROM THE AWARENESS THAT THESE PANELS MAY NOT CONTINUE TO SHOW MEN THEIR WORLD. IT IS LEGITIMATE TO SAY THAT CONSTABLE IS A MASTER BECAUSE HIS WORK HAS TAUGHT MEN HOW TO SEE THE CLOUDS. IT IS NOT LEGITIMATE TO SAY THAT HE IS A MASTER BECAUSE HIS WORK WILL CONTINUALLY TEACH MEN HOW TO SEE THE CLOUDS... AS FAR AS THE PEOPLE OF THE FUTURE EVER DO SUBMIT TO THIS CANONICAL DECISION, THEY ENGAGE IN SENTIMENTALITY; THAT IS, THEY WILLINGLY REAFFIRM WHAT WAS PREVIOUSLY ARTISTICALLY AND RELIGIOUSLY TRUE WITHOUT THEMSELVES ACTUALLY MAINTAINING THE INITIATIVE AND WORKING INTO IT.
TO KNOW GOD IS AS NON-REAL IS TO SAY ONE HAS NO MANA, NO KNOWLEDGE WHICH ALLOWS ONE TO PARTICIPATE IN THE FUTURE.
...THE [ARTISTIC/RELIGIOUS] LACK OF ASSURANCE ARISES FROM THE AWARENESS THAT THESE PANELS MAY NOT CONTINUE TO SHOW MEN THEIR WORLD. IT IS LEGITIMATE TO SAY THAT CONSTABLE IS A MASTER BECAUSE HIS WORK HAS TAUGHT MEN HOW TO SEE THE CLOUDS. IT IS NOT LEGITIMATE TO SAY THAT HE IS A MASTER BECAUSE HIS WORK WILL CONTINUALLY TEACH MEN HOW TO SEE THE CLOUDS... AS FAR AS THE PEOPLE OF THE FUTURE EVER DO SUBMIT TO THIS CANONICAL DECISION, THEY ENGAGE IN SENTIMENTALITY; THAT IS, THEY WILLINGLY REAFFIRM WHAT WAS PREVIOUSLY ARTISTICALLY AND RELIGIOUSLY TRUE WITHOUT THEMSELVES ACTUALLY MAINTAINING THE INITIATIVE AND WORKING INTO IT.
Feast
Listening to the Academy Awards through the floor of my apartment. Somehow I've managed to live above two gay males for the past fourteen months in two decidedly different cities.
Yesterday, we saw post-op Tim. His forehead looked different, since they removed this thing the size of a grapefruit -- no kidding. He was so smart that he grew a second brain for himself. He said that now, thinking, for him, is like an acid trip.
Yesterday, we saw post-op Tim. His forehead looked different, since they removed this thing the size of a grapefruit -- no kidding. He was so smart that he grew a second brain for himself. He said that now, thinking, for him, is like an acid trip.
Patience
Tonight, I happened upon a certain misspelling of a common cliché, Your patients will be rewarded.
The idea that children are disembodied voices of their mothers came up last week.
Tim is in the hospital with a brain tumor the size of a tangerine.
The idea that children are disembodied voices of their mothers came up last week.
Tim is in the hospital with a brain tumor the size of a tangerine.
Clarity
I have had "Santeria" stuck in my head for the past few days -- mostly the tune, but some lines and verses. Tonight, someone told me that I sang it, drunk, at a Karaoke Bar the other night.
Update
We dress like we're trying to be someone's older sister and brother, someone's parents with boobs and facial hair.
Earlier
I have been working 30 hours for a woman who reproduced through artificial insemination, choosing sperm with a physical description closest to "will look like a Barbie or Ken doll" without regard for other sustainable qualities. The woman wants a doctorate in art history so that someone can call her "Doctor".
Andy has been bringing home student poetry from a class he's enrolled in, "Poetry Writing". I'm having a hard time understanding why those with a barely matured version of one's childhood conception of poetic merit are considered much better than those with conceptions of poetic merit from childhood.
Like, a poem shaped like a toothbrush that's supposed to mean a blowjob.
Found
It's Xxxxx...I'm 22 from Allen Park ,I'm Pregnant with my first child. I can't wait to be a mother. also I'm engaged to the most prefect man.I love my friends!!! summer is my favorite season only because of the concert's.I would love to travel the world if i could. If im not on the computer im watching tv or a movie. I'm always living life to the fullest. You only live once why waste it.
Dream
First, a bridge to a ship. A longer bridge to a bigger ship. We rode up to the ship on a rope. I wasn't scared.
Reasons
I've started a new life. It started with accepting a package just before Christmas -- a styrofoam cooler with a block of dry ice and about a dozen vacuum-sealed packages of frozen meat inside.
That night, Rick came over. I cooked some meat and potatoes. Rick said he's going to college so that he can get a job that's stupid and easy. Then, he and Andy talked about vocational classes they took in high school.
Rick said, "I had a voc teacher who told me if I never came back he'd give me a C.
Herr Freitag.
Once, he made us go into another classroom to watch him play a drum solo."
That night, Rick came over. I cooked some meat and potatoes. Rick said he's going to college so that he can get a job that's stupid and easy. Then, he and Andy talked about vocational classes they took in high school.
Rick said, "I had a voc teacher who told me if I never came back he'd give me a C.
Herr Freitag.
Once, he made us go into another classroom to watch him play a drum solo."
TV
OUR CASUAL TREATMENT OF THE MEDIUM DOES NOT NECESSARILY INVALIDATE THE IDEA THAT TELEVISION IS SACRED, SINCE MANY PREVIOUS CULTURES, INCLUDING MEDIEVAL EUROPE, TREATED THEIR SACRED PLACES QUITE CASUALLY. ALTHOUGH TELEVISION IS OFTEN BANAL, IT IS UNFORTUNATELY TRUE THAT MODERN CULTURE WORSHIPS THE BANAL, NOT ONLY THROUGH THE DEVOTION OF TIME TO TV VIEWING, BUT ALSO THROUGH THE CELEBRATION OF HEROES SUCH AS THE CARTOON CAT GARFIELD AND THE CARTOON BOY BART SIMPSON.
Dream
I dreamt of a machine where you play with a Matchbox-sized firetruck to win sausages rolling like hot dogs on a gas station convenience store tumbler, another to win chocolate-covered wafer candies that weren't Kit Kats -- or, if they were, someone had taken them out of their wrappers.
Martland
WHEN WE FIRST CONSIDERED THE SPOILSPORT, WE DID NOT CITE SPECIFIC EXAMPLES, AND IF WE WERE WISE WE WOULD NOT DO SO HERE; BUT TO ME THE ART SCENE DOES SUGGEST AS CANDIDATES THOSE DEALERS, CRITICS, MUSEUM CURATORS, AND WIELDERS OF COMMISSIONS WHO SPOIL THE ART GAME BY SUBJECTING ITS FACTS, ITS WORKS, AND ITS PROGRESS TO PURPOSES AND VALUES TOTALLY INDEPENDENT OF THE GAME AS IT IS BEING PLAYED. THEY USE THE GAME BUT DO NOT PLAY IT, THEREBY THEY SPOIL IT.
Personal
I'm camping in my father's laundry room with Pavel. We lost electricity at home and it's unseasonably cold in Detroit. Pavel is quarantined because she sheds everywhere and my step-mother is allergic to cats. I am quarantined because Pavel won't stop crying when I leave her.
I watch her react to the world, which she seems to have forgotten; living on a third floor, she doesn't kill and she hasn't seen direct sunlight in months. I wonder, when she sees it, if she gets the jabbing sense of déjà vu that you get when you know you've been somewhere but, at some point, realize that it was in a dream, or you feel like you must have been there in a dream because it seems too unreal, or a million other ors.
Serial
Meijer; 6 December
Saw a half-dead, balding & dreadlocked man with camo pants buying Pioneer Sugar while two men with ragged shoes played scratch-off Lotto tickets, sitting on a bench between the Photo and Pharmacy counters. I took a bathroom break. "Take My Breath Away" from the Top Gun soundtrack was playing through the loudspeakers. Came out and everyone was still in place. I need a "L", said one man to the other.
Saw a half-dead, balding & dreadlocked man with camo pants buying Pioneer Sugar while two men with ragged shoes played scratch-off Lotto tickets, sitting on a bench between the Photo and Pharmacy counters. I took a bathroom break. "Take My Breath Away" from the Top Gun soundtrack was playing through the loudspeakers. Came out and everyone was still in place. I need a "L", said one man to the other.
Rifts
Life rifts are moving. Someone told me that it's time to start saying some serious shit.
Last night, I saw a man sing karaoke. The chorus of the song was, "I tried so hard and got so far, but in the end it doesn't even matter," and while he sang, a half-covered T.V. in an empty corner of the bar flashed images of a crying black woman in a red shirt.
This afternoon, I had a dream in which I was dressed as a polyester and spandex Snow White, looking for a place to shit.
Last night, I saw a man sing karaoke. The chorus of the song was, "I tried so hard and got so far, but in the end it doesn't even matter," and while he sang, a half-covered T.V. in an empty corner of the bar flashed images of a crying black woman in a red shirt.
This afternoon, I had a dream in which I was dressed as a polyester and spandex Snow White, looking for a place to shit.
Smut
SEMPRE CON PERMESSO, MA IN QUELLI TEMPI TI FACEVANO PROPRIO ABBASSARE I PANTALONI PRIMA CHE TI DAVANO LAVORO.
In those times they would lower your pants before giving you work, but always with permission.
In those times they would lower your pants before giving you work, but always with permission.
True
A skinny nerd sits at a computer with DESTIN printed in collegiate font on the front of his sweatshirt, FLORIDA printed smaller underneath. It's like you're almost supposed to be here or Destiny without the question at the end.
The gothic scribe with a tribal alkaline trio tramp stamp that migrated up to her shoulders says, "I would reject wholesome art."
A man sits in a wheelchair with three American flags taped to the back. Two men and two oxygen tanks accompany him at the bus stop.
This morning, a minivan with the Ontario license plate: 2 KRY 4
The gothic scribe with a tribal alkaline trio tramp stamp that migrated up to her shoulders says, "I would reject wholesome art."
A man sits in a wheelchair with three American flags taped to the back. Two men and two oxygen tanks accompany him at the bus stop.
This morning, a minivan with the Ontario license plate: 2 KRY 4
Romance
It started with a baby sneaker resting on the handrail in the second-floor staircase.
Tim said, "You've got cruise control and you're going to try and not read and write while you're driving?"
A family of white wizards sits in the half-circle booth across from us at Beirut Gardens. A young mom with stripper hair, wearing all pink and ugg boots with breast cancer ribbons embroidered on the toes, talks to her son about how some people just don't like other people's food as she scrapes her tongue off with a napkin.
I like jewelry made from broken things. Last year, Bethany gave me a ring she had made from her grandmother's broken rosary. Andy said that we should have saved glass from the shattered windows of the totaled van.
---
Driving with the windows down on a balmy Devil's Night listening to "Billie Jean" slowed down, then climbing up to a deserted fifth-floor dead-end, shining our flashlights on someone's drawing of a man with the words WELCOME TO ALCATRAZ above him.
Tim said, "You've got cruise control and you're going to try and not read and write while you're driving?"
A family of white wizards sits in the half-circle booth across from us at Beirut Gardens. A young mom with stripper hair, wearing all pink and ugg boots with breast cancer ribbons embroidered on the toes, talks to her son about how some people just don't like other people's food as she scrapes her tongue off with a napkin.
I like jewelry made from broken things. Last year, Bethany gave me a ring she had made from her grandmother's broken rosary. Andy said that we should have saved glass from the shattered windows of the totaled van.
---
Driving with the windows down on a balmy Devil's Night listening to "Billie Jean" slowed down, then climbing up to a deserted fifth-floor dead-end, shining our flashlights on someone's drawing of a man with the words WELCOME TO ALCATRAZ above him.
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